Suicide The taking of ones own life

Posted on by Lori Beard

The cause of suicide is ultimately a loss of hope. A person loses all hope that life is good or can be good today; tomorrow or ever.

People who consider suicide or commit suicide have lost sight of the fact that their life is valuable. There is something valuable about their life. They are concentrated on the circumstances of life which are often out of our control. The answer to suicide is the same as the Sunday School answer to all life… Jesus. Hope lost cannot be recovered outside of the living hope of Jesus. Often we put our hope in things we feel like we can control. Things that ultimately cannot satisfy all the time in every way. Things that often fail us. And when those things fail us, we lose all

Hope. 

Things we place our hope in:

  • Family
  • Marriage
  • Spouse
  • Money
  • Good job
  • Being accepted
  • Being right
  • Being in control
  • Health

When these things flop, as often they do, then hopelessness is a sure thing because the things we have hoped in are not working. A life without hope is black and empty; void of any reason to try or live. And that leads to thoughts of ending life: often believing that ending life will end the suffering that goes with hopelessness. 

Why Suicide is so prevalent:

People suffer with a loss of hope because they see the world from a worldview and not a Godview. We have human observation without biblical interpretation. In other words we see circumstances (sickness, death, assault, shape of the world, hatred, covid, politics) from a human view. And when that lens is cracked or broken that is how we view the situation; Through a messed up lens. And it is then cracked, broken and unfixable. It’s like walking through a thick fog and not being able to see a lifting of the fog anywhere. 

But when we see the world through a God lens we see hope in all the suffering. There is a reason for the suffering . It points us to Jesus. It reminds us that he created us for perfection and is working to return us there. It is not hopeless because he never forsakes his own. He never gives up. We rest in the one who holds all circumstances in his hands. Suicide thoughts cause us to view the world we see through a ruined lens that then comes up with our own rationals or reasons for why things happen and a belief that nothing good can come out of bad. A God view says everything in my life has a purpose: including the really hard stuff; the stuff that makes me curl up in a ball or scream with grief. It all has a purpose. It all works to drive me to Jesus and call out to him. It all works to his glory which is always for my good. My suffering has purpose. And it is a season. It will not last forever. But suicide is a forever solution. I never get to see the end of the hard season if I choose suicide. A Godview says there is hope in Jesus Christ; in his life. There is hope. Don’t quit in the hard season. The glory of the next season is coming. 

2 Types of Fear in the Bible

Posted on by Lori Beard

Two (2) types of fear in the bible…one is actually beneficial and encouraged by God The other is detrimental and non biblical.

1st fear in the Bible is the fear of God. It consists of a total acknowledgement who God is and his attributes. When you truly know him you are in awe of him and who he is. This constitutes the fear of God.
Ps. 111:1 says this fear is the beginning of wisdom and it leads to understanding.
Proverbs 19:23 says this fear provides a place of safety and security.

The second fear is the “spirit of fear” found in 2 Timothy 1:7. . So, fearfulness and timidity is opposite of love, sound mind, and power according to this verse.

What causes the second fear that so many Christians deal with? Well often the circumstances are different. But the root of the fear is often the same. It is a basic lack of theology of who Jesus is and this causes a distrust in the core of believers that really manifests when we face hard things or the thought of hard things.

Some of the most fears: loss of a loved one
Man’s good opinion
Not receiving affirmation and approval
Being persecuted by being left out or ostracized.

These are some primary fears but the base is the same. There is a struggle to believe that God truly is sufficient for all these things. And often we have not even lived the things we fear. We fear the unknown and unfaced. I call these what ifs.

What if I start to speak and screw up?
What if I invest in that lady for friendship and she dumps me?
What is my kid gets the disease that the kid down the road has?
What if… the list is endless? You can plug your fears in here if you are listening.

So, how do we battle these fears? I say turn them to even if’s. So even if, my kid gets a disease like the kid down the street….

Even if my husband never loves me like he should…
Even if nobody invites me to dinner….
Even if I never fit it… Just plug your fear in and then apply the truth to that fear.
I always think of it as slapping it happy.
Job 113:15 says Even if you slay me yet I will praise you.
Job went to the worst thing he could think of he had already lost everything. So he went to his life and said Even if…

So, some verses to do even if..

Psalm 56:11 In God i trust. I will not fear. What can man do to me? How sweet for the even if I never fit in or get invited to dinner.

Isa. 41:10 Do not anxiously look about you. Keep your thought life focused on Jesus. What if is a result of us looking for trouble. Matthew 6 and James 4 says do not give thought to tomorrow and be anxious. His grace is sufficient for today. What if demands our focus and our energy. It drains us because we spend our days anxiously looking about for trouble.

1 John 4:18 perfect love casts out fear. Yes, it does but we are not perfect.
So, what does the bible command more than 200 times. “Do not fear”
And then it tells us why. If you are looking for verses to support living a bold fear free life, psalms. Go to the psalms. They are full of reminders not to fear. And they tell us why.

Fear actually manifest itself physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Physical: rapid heartbeat. Flushed face and neck. Shaky hands and legs. General weakness in limbs.
Emotionally: it looks and sounds like harshness and critical spirit (this is to cover up insecurity)
Crying often: feelings of dejection and hopelessness as a result of looking about anxiously and not finding any answers for your fears.
Anger is big. This is a realization that you are not in control and that causes anger to rise up
Spiritually: a feeling of distance from God. He’s not answering you and giving the assurance you need (your demand is all that will relieve your fear)

A lack of bible time because we are too anxious to sit still and meditate on the very scriptures that will set us free
A weak prayer life because it very quickly becomes centered on the things we fear as opposed to adoration, confession, thanksgiving and supplication.

The answer is Jesus. Easy Not always so easy to live
When to seek help. When your fears are starting to dominate your thinking and they are spilling over into your actions. When your children are beginning to mimic your fears and be unreasonably afraid of things and people and circumstances.
When your fear decides things for you. Not based on wisdom and balance but just raw fear with no basis

Ask for help and enjoy living in freedom without the weight of fear and anxiety.

Types of Anger

Posted on by Lori Beard

Self Righteous 

Often presents as very holy. Martyr kind of attitude. Presents as being patient and self sacrificing. Toots their own righteous horn. This anger is often not loud. It rarely loses control. It is characterized by:  a critical spirit. A judge mental attitude.  An unwillingness to compromise or listen. An inability to work as a team well. It often fumes quietly. Self righteous anger stores up their slights. They do not overlook any offenses but in their holiness and self righteousness they pretend to let them go. People who struggle in this way are not given to much bible time or prayer time except as it suits them. Their prayers are often very much self focused and centered on their wants as defined by their relationships. 

For example, a self righteous husband would pray for God to change his selfish wife without ever thinking about the selfishness of his prayer. These people do not repent because they don’t require repentance. Self righteous ness cloaks them in their own right. Jesus is not needed to make things right because they are never wrong. 

Blasting Anger 

This person lacks all self control. They live in a world where all that matters is what does not go their way. They are impatient.  Short tempered.  They frustrate easily. They feel offended quickly. They are unreasonable and unkind in their temper. They are thoughtless in their language when upset. They blow up quick and come down quick. Once finished with their tantrum, they are fine and expect everyone else to be fine. They are unrepentant because they are unaware of the damage their temper has done. However, they learn very quickly that apologies are expected and that people forgive quicker if they say sorry. There is very little, if any, real sorrow for the harm their temper has done.  They often have a semblance of holiness without any self control. 

Woe is Me Anger 

This anger is the hardest to address because it typically comes on the heels of some serious event such as a death: divorce: something tragic. These people suffer through an event that changed their lives. Often they are characterized by: sadness: grief: sorrow: mistrust of others: bitterness: hardness of hearts. They are governed by a sense of justice. Justice denied to them (perspective )leaves them constantly looking for justice.  They tend to be cynical. Short on compassion.  These people feel very little mercy for the lost; often feeling like they get what they deserve. It is hard to correct them or confront their lack of mercy because they will continually remind you of what they have suffered and what you have not suffered.  These people think of themselves as long suffering and have a tendency to define the world by the suffering each person has endured. Comparison is huge fir them. 

Anger that Simmers 

This is a quiet anger often not detected for years. Often the way we discover it is when the angry person loses control and does something drastic like Cain.  God said to him. “Why so downcast Cain?” Referring to his countenance. There is a distinct look about an angry person. They often appear sad, quiet.  Often the quiet is about controlling the emotions happening on the inside. Cains anger led to extreme hatred and jealousy. And murder. These quiet angry people are some of the scariest angry people. One does not know how they will respond when they’re angry box gets full. Often they don’t know. These people would not describe themselves as angry. Ever. Nor would those around them. Identifying characteristics:  they are often unable to express their emotions well. They actually have no idea how they feel. They are  often people who struggle in relationships but don’t know why. 

They have a limited emotional vocabulary and a very small support system because they share with very few people in a real way. 

 

The answer to all these different anger modes is the SAME.  Jesus.  Jesus. Jesus. 

 

If you are struggling with anger, get help. It is common to man. We all fight it.  We all fight uselessly unless we fight with the armor of God. 

Get help. 

 

Biblical Answers for Anger. 

Continue reading “Types of Anger” →

Anger Helps

Posted on by Lori Beard

Here’s some helpful articles when it comes to dealing with anger.

Resources from Rick Thomas

https://rickthomas.net/when-the-parents-anger-complicates-the-life-of-the-child/

https://rickthomas.net/what-is-righteous-anger/

https://rickthomas.net/podcast/ep-179-the-mysterious-interplay-of-fear-anger-and-self-reliance/

https://rickthomas.net/anger-alleviation-a-quest-to-be-god-a-case-study/

https://rickthomas.net/book-review-the-heart-of-anger-by-lou-priolo/

https://rickthomas.net/cheap-plates-can-overcome-anger/

Resources from Desiring God